I ended the previous post with the thought that your partner is and will be to some degree a mystery to you regardless of how long you have known them.
When faced with ambiguous and complex situations as relationships can be, we tend to do two things: we stereotype them and we try to predict what others will do next based on our experience of them, thus our prediction and their response create a repeating cycle or dance, if you will.
Research in psychology has identified that we tend to judge others by their behaviour and ourselves by our intentions.
If we strive for authentic relationships, we should humbly acknowledge the limitations of our individual perspective and effort. We should enrich our efforts by trying to inhabit those of others, to understand our whys and intentions as well as those of others. A useful conversation opener is ‘why do we see a situation differently?’ This is an anti-reductionist approach.
This approach allows us to accept that we can never truly know another and to be comfortable with our ignorance while pushing against its boundaries whilst respecting the mystery in other people.
Wishing everyone a fulfilling 2023 and a year full of curiosity.
