In this post, I will try to make Gestalt therapy ideas and concepts applicable to everyday life. I hope to open up the therapy room and lift a bit the weight from the individual seeking therapy and place it where I believe it belongs: the relationship. What I mean by that is that if we see issues less as individual issues, that is, within the person and more between people, we may be able to create more supportive, sustaining and enduring relationships.
A very brief intro: In the 1940s, Fritz and Laura Perls and Paul Goodman, the early founders Gestalt therapy, developed an approach that was a reaction against and a critique of the typical Freudian analysis that was prevalent at the time. They advocated a non-interpretive therapy, that is, an approach that would not interpret clients behaviour, showing which issues they have, but focus on how a person, being an integral part of his or her environment relates to his or her environment; naturally, a person’s environment includes other people. Thus Gestalt started a journey from the intra-personal to the inter-personal. Thus, contemporary Gestalt can be seen as a therapy of the ‘between’ rather than the ‘within’.
In everyday terms, it refers to how we approach others, do we tell ourselves: this is going to be an exciting opportunity or a threatening experience. Whether we trust the encounter, take risks and feel curious about what is happening or feel exposed and at risk will become the underpinning of the encounter. Of course, we are not always aware of our possibilities, yet they will determine whether we will feel satisfied or dissatisfied and Gestalt is a good approach to help to develop this awareness.
In a ‘Gestalt scenario’, a satisfactory meeting would be one in which we approach others whilst keeping some spontaneity, thus we can relate to others while taking into account new information about the situation in the moment, relying less heavily on our expectations. It is about finding the balance between assuming knowledge of what would happen vs the uncertainty of what might happen.
Gestalt’s strength is in the giving up on the hunt of linear cause and effect, the reliance on past events as predetermining of future outcomes. Cause and effect thinking often requires a narrow consideration of what preceded what and ignores the complexity and the creativity of human relations. Of course, our actions (or inactions) always have consequence, yet, according to Gestalt, it is the consequence that gives meaning to the event that has preceded it rather than the other way around (you can read my story about the Chinese farmer below). Part of what Gestalt is interested in is looking for creative ways to contact others in the present moment. There is always the question in the background: what is being blocked?
Gestalt therapy does attempt to change behaviour (as in stopping one behaviour and starting another), but more of an attempt at expanding what I am doing now thus including more possibilities. I find this approach empowering and liberating. It turns our behaviour from being predetermined by our past (upbringing, education, genes etc) to being predisposed – yes, we have our tendencies and yet, we can make ‘choicefu’l decisions (if you believe that humans have free choice, that is – the debate is still going on).
If you would like to find out more, you can send me an email.
Gilead
